There are some men who find flirting with women an easy, natural process, and there are others who find flirting a difficult and uncomfortable experience. Which group do you fit into?
If you are in the second group of men, I want to share some insights with you, that can help you develop the skills to easily and naturally flirt with women. And as a result of developing good flirting abilities, you should be able to start using those skills to attract women.
Firstly, do you know WHAT flirting is?
Flirting is the process humans use to communicate a sexual or romantic interest in another person. It is a common form of social interaction that consists of a combination of body language, conversation and physical contact. Flirting usually involves behaving and speaking in a certain way, that portrays a high interest in becoming intimate with that person.
Now that’s the “official” meaning of flirting. But successful flirting with women – especially beautiful women – is a far more skillful act then merely just communicating a sexual or romantic interest. There are certain behavior traits, characteristics, verbal and non-verbal communication skills that need to be displayed to flirt successfully.
To gain a better understanding of how to flirt more successfully, I think it’s important to first look at the different sexual strategies of men and women.
Firstly, you need to understand that the sexual strategies of humans are deeply imprinted on our subconsciousness. They are INSTINCTUAL! We can’t change those instincts and we can’t CHOOSE who we feel attraction for – we just FEEL it.
Nature has created a mechanism that drives men and women toward one another for the purpose of continuing to create more life, and make babies for the survival of our species. This mechanism is what we call attraction, more to the point, SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
The feeling of attraction, is really just the chemical reaction of certain hormones that are produced by our bodies. And when our bodies create this chemical reaction, the resulting feeling is what we call attraction. It’s important to understand that this process is completely UN-CONTROLLABLE.
We are attracted to certain physical attributes, behavior traits and characteristics, and when we meet someone who possesses these qualities, we feel attracted to them – and we CANNOT help it. The chemical reaction in our bodies signals to us that this person is someone who meets our subconscious requirements for a suitable sexual partner. In our subconscious programming, we feel the chances of us creating the strongest, healthiest offspring are greatest with this person.
Now for men, our instinctual programming is to procreate as much as we can. Because we can produce offspring whenever we have sex, it is emotionally easier for us than women, to select more than one sexual partner, because the more children we produce, the better it is for the survival of our genes.
We are attracted to women who possess the greatest beauty, because instinctively we believe, the more beautiful the woman, the more attractive our offspring will be. And if our children are good looking, this increases the likelihood that they will easily find sexual partners, and ensure our genes survive even longer.
Women on the other hand, can only physically produce children every year or so, and usually only about 5-15 children in their lifetime. So they become much more selective when choosing a sexual partner, to secure the best genes for their offspring. If a woman makes a bad decision, and becomes pregnant to someone with ‘bad’ genes, then the chances of her genes continuing to strengthen decrease dramatically.
Women select their sexual partners based on certain behavior traits and characteristics. Women need to see that a man possesses a high social status, high social value, strong social skills and has the strength of character that makes him a strong, powerful and decisive leader. It is these qualities that matter MORE than physical attributes to women, because it’s these traits that display the true strength of character that ensures the man’s genes are as strong as possible.
Now back to flirting. When it comes to flirting, most men have NO understanding whatsoever about the different sexual strategies of men and women. And because of this lack of understanding, most men approach flirting from the wrong angle, and with the wrong frame of mind to successfully become sexual partners with a woman.
Most men think that to flirt successfully with women, you need to pay them lots of attention, compliment them lots, buy them drinks etc. They TRY to win or buy the approval of a woman, and they think that just because they communicate their sexual interest to her, that is going to be enough to attract her sexually.
This is NOT the case though. This behavior is NOT what women are instinctively programmed to be attracted to.
Just about EVERY woman is exposed to men who try communicating their sexual interests in them. Even if a woman is considered ugly, she will still have men who will display sexual interest in her. There are always going to be men who will try to get sex from ANY woman they can get it from – remember we are programmed to procreate as much as we can.
On the other hand, beautiful women CONSTANTLY have all types of men displaying sexual interest in them, and as a result, they have a much wider choice of men to choose from. And because they have a very wide choice of suitors, they become extremely selective about who they choose as sexual partners. Beautiful women ONLY select men who possess the right characteristics that INSTINCTIVELY trigger attraction and lust in them.
This means that men who wish to become sexual partners with beautiful women, need to display the RIGHT type of behavior traits and characteristics for beautiful women to take an interest – especially a sexual interest.
Now, I know many men who MISUNDERSTAND what flirting is, and HOW to flirt – especially with beautiful women. They think, or worse, they BELIEVE, that merely paying the woman attention by just talking to her, complimenting her and buying her drinks is flirting. They think that paying the woman extreme attention will MAKE her FEEL attraction and lust for them. They are TRYING to win HER approval.
The problem with this misunderstanding, is that these guys falsely believe that women are attracted to them just because they get to interact with them, and then become discouraged, maybe even bitter and angry when they find out the women have no interest in them at all. And you can’t blame the women, it’s not their fault these men misunderstand what triggers attraction.
Here is a quick tip: You MUST behave in a manner that compels beautiful women to TRY and win YOUR approval. NOT the other way around. This WILL make you stand out from the throngs of losers TRYING to get sex from these women, and elevate your attractiveness in their eyes, and ultimately, your ability to have sex with them.
It takes knowledge and understanding to be a successful flirt. If you know WHAT to do, and HOW to do it, then flirting can become extremely enjoyable and rewarding. You will no longer have to suffer the torment of rejection and ridicule, or worse, the torment of knowing you DON’T HAVE THE BALLS to flirt with women.
Here are 5 important tips to help you become a successful flirt.
- You MUST display extreme self confidence. If you aren’t confident in your ability to communicate with women in a playful, relaxed manner, then your chances of flirting successfully are very slim. As I’ve said many times before on this site, women are instinctively attracted to men who display certain behavior and character traits. If you possess those traits, then your chances of success are much greater.
- You MUST have, and BE FUN. Flirting should be a fun and exciting interaction, that helps build rapport and sexual attraction. It’s especially hard to flirt effectively, if you are self conscious, or lack confidence in yourself, and your ability to communicate and interact with women on a social level. You absolutely must be relaxed and confident to have women feel relaxed to be around you. If they feel ANY discomfort or awkwardness being around you, your chances of becoming sexually intimate are pretty much slim to zero.
- You MUST behave COCKY and FUNNY. To be cocky and funny means you behave in a manner that displays your high self esteem and self image, in a humorous, lighthearted way. It’s the ability to confidently tease and make fun of women. To be cocky doesn’t mean you behave arrogantly, but rather you behave in a way that confidently states how you feel about and view yourself, while making fun of her in a lighthearted and non-threatening way. When mixed with humorous, maybe even shocking things that women don’t hear very often, this becomes an intoxicating combination, and makes you seem unique and different.
- You MUST set the frame that YOU are a valuable prize. You need to behave in a manner that compels women to try and impress YOU, and perceive YOU as a valuable prize that they need to win – NOT the other way around. Most women – especially beautiful women – are attracted to men who have high social value in their eyes. This means that if a woman perceives a man as having an equal or greater value than herself, she will be more likely to FEEL attracted to him. Too many guys, place women on a pedestal, treat them like queens, shower them with attention, hang on their every word and follow them around like puppies because they are afraid if they let them out of their sights, they will disappear. This gives the woman the perception that the man values himself lower than her, and as a result, she is NOT attracted to him.
- You absolutely MUST touch women. What I mean by this, is that you must use appropriate touching to help build comfort and rapport with a woman. Appropriate touching is when you touch a place on the body in a non-threatening, non-sexual way e.g the back of the hand or the upper arm area when shaking hands, the shoulder area or back of the shoulder/back area to emphasize understanding or comradeship etc. Touching is a very powerful tool, that can be used to subconsciously ingrain your presence on the mind of the person you touch, and make you highly memorable. And when it’s done correctly, you can really accelerate the speed in which someone becomes comfortable and relaxed in your presence. Just think back to the last time someone touched you when you first met them. How did it make you feel? Comfortable and relaxed? I’m sure it did, and even if it didn’t, I’ll bet that their touch made an impression on your mind, and made them unforgettable. That’s the effect you want when you use touch when flirting with women.
So there is some insight into the different sexual strategies of men and women, and 5 tips that can really help boost your success rates when you’re flirting with women. Make sure you work on developing the behavior traits and characteristics that women are INSTINCTIVELY attracted to. Doing so will make your flirting efforts that more potent and powerful.
If you don’t know how to develop those attributes that women find attractive, then I strongly suggest you check out HOW TO BE AN ALPHA MALE by John Alexander. John’s powerful program will teach everything you need to know about becoming the type of man that women find irresistible, and would do ANYTHING to have in their lives – AND their beds.
All the best