From Slob To Suave

 
Perhaps you have heard the old cliche, “all is fair in love and war?” Well, the “all” bit is only true when self-standards are exceedingly low, and the level of one’s appearance, style, and behavior are next to nil unless, of course, you’re looking for love at Walmart.

The only tail a fellow like this catches is from the back of a woman’s dress as she turns away in indignation to flee the scene. There is no need to give up, go home, and cry in a fetal position if you’re on the receiving end – it’s just time to invest in some self improving endeavors like hygiene, a respectable wardrobe, and some confidence drills. In just a short bit of time, you will transcend your mere-average circumstances and become the alpha you were destined to become. And who could possibly do a better job at imparting this enlightenment to you than James Bond himself (The Sean Connery version, of course).

Check out this infograph that can illuminate your path from Slob to Suave! Thanks to Shaun White from FlyGuyBowTie.com for sharing his work!!

From-Slob-To-Suave-Infograph

Bio: Shaun White lives in Boise, Idaho and writes humor articles and cartoon illustrations. “From Slob to Suave” was created FlyGuyBowTie.com.

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Picking Up Women – It’s ALL About Safety and Trust

 
Imagine this scenario for a minute: You’re seated at a bar minding your own business. A woman sits down beside you and takes no shame in invading your personal space. The two of you have never met before and you know nothing about each other. She stares at you with that sex-on-the-brain look and says; “You look so faarkin sexy. Ohh your ass is SO HOT … Rrrgghh!!! How about going back to my place for some sweaty bedroom action?”

I know what you’re thinking man … “I’d LOVE it if THAT happened!” Hell, what man wouldn’t!

Unfortunately though, this does NOT usually happen, and it definitely NEVER happens if the woman has never met you. Having women pursue and chase you IS possible, IF you’ve displayed the correct characteristics and behaviour traits, and engineered the right conditions. However, the purpose of this article isn’t to talk about that, the purpose of this article is to help you understand a couple of crucial aspects that are necessary to successfully picking up women. The point I’m making with that first paragraph, is that women get this type of behaviour from guys ALL the time.

Pick-up lines, “sex eyes”, sex “actions”, lewd, offensive remarks and other ridiculous tactics are used by men so often that women instinctively put up their defenses when approached by a man in this way (MOST women put up their defenses when men approach them in ANY way). Not only are these tactics pathetic and useless attempts at trying to grab a woman’s attention, it NEVER generates ANY attraction at all and it’s extremely harmful to the way you’re perceived by her because you’re coming from a position of being a pursuer (not to mention being a complete nuisance).

In order for you to successfully pick-up a woman, you need to create the perception that you’re highly valuable so SHE is compelled to pursue YOU. You need to possess attractive characteristics and personality traits that compel her to find you interesting and engaging enough to want to begin an interaction. Once the interaction has begun, then you need to behave in a way that conveys you’re a guy she trusts and feels safe with.

I’m going to share a couple of key aspects that will provide you with a better understanding of how to BE more attractive and interesting, create the feelings of trust and safety, and help you begin transforming from dating dud to seducer extraordinaire! In order for these concepts to work though, you’re going to have to abandon EVERYTHING you thought you knew about picking up hot women. Forget what the media portrays, what your mother told you, what women SAY they want. Forget it ALL!
 

Be Different

The first step, is that YOU need to BE DIFFERENT from all the other guys out there trying to pick-up women. That’s the bottom line. To stand out from the crowd, you simply CANNOT be the same or behave the same way as everyone else. You NEED to be a different type of man and behave in a different way to set yourself apart and stand out in the minds of the women you come into contact with.

So, the first step is … Be Different!

STOP using all the old, overused, overrated pick-up lines and behaviour NOW. STOP making sex the reason for interacting and focus on simply talking and connecting. Doing just this one thing will INSTANTLY set you apart from over 95% of the other males out there. Instead of using the same tactics that all the other guys are using to approach and introduce themselves to women, behave NORMALLY (as you would around your guy friends), and remain cool and calm.

It’s more than enough to simply smile and say “Hi” to start a conversation with a woman. You don’t need any fancy pick-up lines. Strike up a “normal” conversation by asking her how her night is going, what brings her out, who she’s with etc, and work off the threads of information she gives you to continue talking and communicating with her.

DON’T constantly question her, don’t interrogate her. Just talk – LISTEN – and communicate NATURALLY.

Add a strong level of relaxed confidence into your behavior and BOOM … You’re instantly BEING different!
You WILL stand out in her mind, naturally sparking her interest in you.
 

Behave Attractively

Continuing on with being different, you also need to BEHAVE in a way that conveys you possess a strong, masculine personality and high social power and value – in other words, demonstrates that you’re a high value, attractive man. It’s crucially important that you possess the body language and behaviour traits that trigger automatic, subconscious attraction in women. It’s a constant uphill battle if you’re instantly perceived and judged to be a low value guy – in fact the reality is, you won’t even get a chance to start any interactions because the ladies will put their defense’s up the minute you approach them.

To minimize the likelihood of encountering female defense tactics, it’s important that you’re always exuding a powerful, relaxed and supremely confident presence. Hold and conduct yourself in a strong and masculine manner. Exude fun, happiness and excitement. When you project these high value characteristics and behaviour traits, women will INSTANTLY be attracted to your appearance and your behaviour, compelling them to be more open to interacting with you.
 

A Beautiful Secret about Women

The second step to success is understanding the magnificent truth of reality … Women LOVE Sex!

Yeah, you heard me right. They love sex. Regardless of what we’ve all been told and conditioned to believe, women LOVE sex! And they are dying to meet a man who excites them enough that they want to have sex with him. They dream and fantasize about meeting such a man. The key for us is learning how to trigger that excitement and attraction within them.

Here’s the thing that makes it difficult for the average man to succeed … Ever since they were little girls, women have been programmed by society to be respectable ladies. They’ve been taught the importance of having a solid reputation and warned of the dangers of being labeled a slut. This is why they feel a great amount of pressure and discomfort when they are approached by men who have NOT demonstrated enough value and are blatantly seeking sex.

The sad truth for most women – and the barrier to success for most guys – is that they are constantly bombarded by these types of advances from men. As a result, most guys they meet repel and disgust them, meaning they find it difficult to find the type of man they instinctively find attractive (or the men they do find attractive, turn out to be the jerks and assholes they’re always complaining about).

In short, they don’t easily TRUST men who approach them. And that’s because most men come at this completely wrong. In order for you to enjoy greater success, you need to view your approach in an entirely different way.
 

It’s ALL about Safety and Trust

If you want a woman to have sex with you, she NEEDS to feel SAFE and TRUST you.

Just because I told you she enjoys sex, doesn’t mean you’ve been licensed to blatantly seek it from her. If you do, once again, you’ll be just like every other guy and you’ll FAIL. You need to remember the great effort she puts into keeping her secret, and living up to the standards that have been imposed on her by societal programming. The ONLY way she’ll EVER open up to you is if she feels comfortable being around you and trusts that you’re a confidential guy who will NOT destroy her reputation.

However, you can’t be too careful and “nice” either. If you don’t possess the courage and balls to PROJECT your sexual interest – without blatantly displaying it – and convey your intentions through both verbal and nonverbal communication skills, then women will assume you’re either not interested in them, or they’ll believe you’re just another weak, insecure, boring guy who they find completely unattractive.

So, it’s important to begin by facing reality … Of course you want to have sex with her! BUT, you NEED to keep this to yourself for now. Being too upfront about your intentions will make her feel uncomfortable and you will be labeled as another loser trying to get into her pants.

After you’ve generated initial attraction, the next step is to establish SAFETY and TRUST!

To establish this trust and feeling of safety, once again, it’s important that you set yourself apart from all the other guys. As long as you don’t appear to be a “threat” to her sexual sanctity – or her physical well-being – you stand a good chance of creating a positive impression and perception in her mind. Once a woman decides she feels safe around you, trust naturally follows close behind.

The question is, HOW do we create this safety and trust?

Well there are a couple of simple but powerful things you can do. First, by projecting a powerful, relaxed confident personality and a strong, masculine presence, you’ll be displaying the characteristics that people subconsciously perceive as genuine and trustworthy (we’re instinctively programmed to trust in strength and confidence, we automatically mistrust weakness and insecurity).

When you approach a woman/women, instead of using a canned pick-up line, just say HI. Hi is such a non-threatening opener. All you’re doing is being friendly. There’s no hidden agenda, no blatant disregard for a woman’s sexual reputation. You’re just a friendly, confident guy (something that turns on over 90% of women). This is extremely powerful when used in conjunction with a cool, calm and relaxed demeanour and a strong, masculine presence.

There’s also a powerful verbal communication method you can use to create a strong subconscious sense of trust in you. This method is a specific psychological language structure that elicits a strong perception of truthfulness, conveying that you’re a truthful – therefore trustworthy – man. When you speak the truth (regardless of how obvious it is), you’re positively influencing her perception that you’re an honest person, naturally increasing her trust in you. Here’s what you do …

… Highlight three statements of truth about your environment and wrap them around a statement of your desired outcome. For example, let’s say that you’re sitting at a table, hanging out with some friends in a bar. You see a woman sitting at the bar, having a drink alone. You decide to meet this lady so you walk over and stand next to her, and after you’ve said hi, you say, “I was sitting over there with my friends and couldn’t help noticing you sitting here drinking alone. I’m impressed and fascinated with your presence – you seem like a cool person. You mind some company for a little bit?”

The truthfulness in my statement is pretty clear and evident:

  • “I WAS sitting with my friends”
  • “She IS sitting at the bar alone”
  • “She DOES have a drink”

My statements are true and my intention is clear, yet my sexual interest isn’t blatant or unoffensive. In fact, it’s so subtle that it doesn’t even seem like it’s a pick-up routine. It just seems like I’m a cool, confident and socially mindful guy who is befriending someone who is alone at the moment. The likelihood of her rejecting an interaction are pretty slim. For starters, she’ll trust me on a subconscious level. And because we’re compelled by natural and powerful psychological programming to like those who like us, she’ll be more open to talking for a few minutes because she KNOWS I think she’s cool – I told her.

The third step to success, is understanding that your body language is far more revealing (and important) than you can ever imagine!

Most men fail with women because their body language portrays a sexual advance that ALL women can sense a mile away. These guys will invade a woman’s personal space and their body positioning and behavior says; “I think you’re hot. I want to fuck you NOW, that’s ALL I care about. And I have complete and total disregard for your sexual reputation!”

The ladies are understandably IMMEDIATELY repelled and disgusted by this type of behaviour!

So, in order for you to be viewed as being different, STOP emitting an overtly sexual signal. You can achieve this by doing one simple trick. When you’re speaking with a woman, make sure you’re NOT facing her directly or leaning in towards her. Remain side on, or facing her but leaning back.

Using this simple body language trick will subconsciously convey to her that you’re NOT seeking her attention, NOT (overtly) trying to get into her pants and is an extremely powerful attraction trigger (this will help you to be perceived as The Prize, NOT the pursuer). But more importantly, you’ll be deemed as SAFE in her eyes, which makes you very, very different from all the other guys out there trying to get into her pants.

Once you’re deemed as safe, women will be more than happy to give you their time (hell, they’ll be BEGGING you for your attention if your game is tight).
 
These are just a couple of tips to help you approach women and become more successful in your interactions with them. They’re by no means the only aspects you require to succeed in the dating trenches. There is a whole host of other skills and abilities that you’ll need to develop to have consistent success, but I know without a shadow of doubt, that implementing these tips can help you achieve far greater success in your immediate interactions with women.

Go out there, practice with this information you’ve learned today and start applying your new knowledge. Just remember … It’s ALL about safety and trust when you’re interacting with women, building attraction and succeeding in pickups.

All the best

Baden

3 Killer Methods to Create an Unforgettable First Impression

 

I’m going to share with you 3 KILLER methods that drastically help you make an unforgettable first impression on ANY woman you meet.

These skills are extremely powerful in helping you portray the type of personality that INSTANTLY makes you attractive, interesting and create the perception in their minds that you’re a man with high social value and status.

We’ve all heard over and over again how important first impressions are, especially out in the dating field.

We know that the first thoughts we impress on those we meet and come into contact with are the most critical and have the greatest influence on their perceptions of us. These are the thoughts and emotions that either create an opportunity for greater interaction and a move towards forming a new friendship/relationship, or in killing ANY possiblity of going any further.

But, what makes these first few moments so critical? What do these first several moments have that make them so potent?

Well, whenever we meet someone for the first time, we know absolutely NOTHING about them. Whatever they do or say in those first few moments, we will base our ENTIRE perception of them on those thoughts.

I’m sure you’ve been in many situations where you’ve met someone for the first time and have INSTANTLY been repelled by them.

We all know what it’s like to meet a person who is negative, pessimistic and boring. We can’t wait to get away from them and then when we see them again, we start looking for an escape route.

Why?

Because ALL humans naturally want to enjoy happy, joyous, fun and fulfilling experiences. Negative people do not help us achieve those emotions in our lives.

Yes there are many people who DO NOT “naturally” gravitate towards positive and fulfilling emotions. They cut themselves off from enjoyment and happiness with their negativity and block any good from happening to them.

But, deep down inside each and every one of us, we want to experience feelings of joy and happiness. We want to form relationships that spark feelings of fun and excitement within us.

Which is why we are ALL attracted to people who have the ability to create fun, excitement, happiness, positivity and rewarding experiences in our lives.

So, HOW can YOU go about setting a great first impression?

 

METHOD #1. Be Cool With EVERYONE …. Especially The Men!

It’s vitally important that we are cool with everyone. We need to be able to interact and connect with ALL people. How else can we be popular and portray high social value if we don’t make an effort to befriend, or at least be good to everyone we meet?

Many guys are conditioned to ONLY interact with people they PERCEIVE as cool or attractive. Most of those guys won’t even bother making an effort to get to know women who are less than a 7.

These are guys with LOW value.

Funny thing is, they usually DON’T approach and meet women of lower attractiveness because of their “standards”, yet either CAN’T approach women of higher attractiveness because the girls are “too hot”, or CAN’T attract these women because of their low social value.

They INSTANTLY and unconsciously defeat the whole purpose of meeting new women because of their low social skills and mindset.

And when it comes to other men, these LOW Value Boys think that they need to COMPETE for the attention of women, and either try to “chase” these other men away with their domineering and rude behavior, or resort to violence to try and conquer and “win” their prizes.

They will try to “infiltrate” a “target’s” group and usually through bad behavior, try to chase the men in these groups away from the women they are after. Their attitude is usually one of rudeness, aggressiveness or downright violent.

Not only will this behavior raise the hackles of the males, but it will also SCARE THE WOMEN AWAY!

Women are NEVER pleased by rude men or guys who resort to unprovoked violence. They will NEVER be flattered or comfortable with someone who can’t get along with the men already in their lives.

But like I said, these guys display shockingly low value and are extremely UNATTRACTIVE to women.

So, how do YOU display HIGH value?

Easy, start being “cool” with EVERYONE you meet, especially other men. When you are a high value, confident Alpha Male, other men are no longer competition. They are your allies. A man who has the ability to befriend and get along with other men, and then become a “leader” among those men, is extremely attractive to women.

And a high value man KNOWS the importance of befriending EVERY woman he meets, regardless of beauty and attractiveness.

The more women you meet, the easier it is to display HIGH social value and proof, and therefore, increase your ability to attract and meet women of even higher value, beauty and attractiveness.

Remember that women are attracted to men who are popular and have a high social status, and LOVE to date men who will raise their own social status in the process.

So go out there and be cool with everyone!

 

METHOD #2. Show Genuine Interest!

This would have to be one of the biggest socializing “laws” out there for me. NOTHING is as flattering as having someone give you their undivided attention. Most people are much more interested in their OWN lives than they are in yours.

Which is why it’s so powerful when YOU give someone your undivided attention, and show genuine interest in them and what they’re saying.

You can make more friends in 2 hours by showing a genuine interest in people than you can in 2 years of trying to get them interested in you.

The key is good listening!

Most people fail to make lasting first impressions or form new friendships because they are too busy thinking of what to say next instead of listening to what the other person is SAYING.

And most guys fail miserably because they are either too busy trying to think of something “cool” to say, get out their next witty one-liner or too focused on their end result (sex) to really care about what is really being said.

Listening is ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL, especially when we’re talking to women.

The subjects we choose to talk about are vitally important as well.

Men LOVE to talk about “man” topics: sports, cars, women, sex! We talk about facts, specifications and performance. We are interested in how things work, rather than how they feel.

Women on the other hand, are NOT interested in talking about our favorite topics. They LOVE to share and experience FEELINGS and EMOTIONS. They show genuine interest in others’ stories and experiences.

So, if you want to make a great first impression on women, start listening better to what they’re trying to say to you and work on forming EMOTIONAL connections.

Show GENUINE INTEREST by LISTENING TO WHAT’S COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS.

 

METHOD #3. Be Inquisitive … Lead The Conversation!

The majority of women are used to guiding and leading conversations. Especially when they’re in the company of boring “nice” guys, or domineering fools.

Women are used to asking a bunch of questions, listening and showing genuine interest in conversations. But they will only do this until they lose interest, or become annoyed at having to do ALL the talking.

Most men make the mistake of trying to dominate conversations with their opinions, statements of facts or talking about topics that women are NOT interested in. And the biggie here is that they don’t give the other person an opportunity to share their thoughts and opinions.

Put simply … They are self-centered. If you want to lose a woman’s interest FAST, be self-centered!

If you want a woman to enjoy talking with you, show her that unlike the other 99% of men out there, you can take an active interest in what she’s saying. Pay attention to the feelings she shares with you when she talks.

Use those “clues” in the things she says to LEAD the conversation. Ask her more questions about her “clues”, and get her to open up even more to you.

Share your thoughts and feelings as well. One-sided conversations are very rarely fulfilling. Although most of us could talk for hours about our passions and interests, women LOVE talking with men who have the ability to COMMUNICATE BACK to them.

The key point is that you DON’T dominate a conversation, OR let her monopolize it.

Make sure you are inquisitive and that you take a lead in the conversation.

 

These three methods can help you make lasting impressions on the women you meet. The great thing about them though, is that they don’t just apply to women; they apply to EVERYONE!

They can be used to make new friends, foster new business relationships, succeed at work, or just to make you more popular overall.

If you can master these crucial social skills, there is NO social situation where you can’t create an unforgettable impression on EVERYONE you meet!

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