Picking Up Women – It’s ALL About Safety and Trust

Imagine this scenario for a minute: You’re seated at a bar minding your own business. A woman sits down beside you and takes no shame in invading your personal space. The two of you have never met before and you know nothing about each other. She stares at you with that sex-on-the-brain look and says; “You look so faarkin sexy. Ohh your ass is SO HOT … Rrrgghh!!! How about going back to my place for some sweaty bedroom action?”

I know what you’re thinking man … “I’d LOVE it if THAT happened!” Hell, what man wouldn’t!

Unfortunately though, this does NOT usually happen, and it definitely NEVER happens if the woman has never met you. Having women pursue and chase you IS possible, IF you’ve displayed the correct characteristics and behaviour traits, and engineered the right conditions. However, the purpose of this article isn’t to talk about that, the purpose of this article is to help you understand a couple of crucial aspects that are necessary to successfully picking up women. The point I’m making with that first paragraph, is that women get this type of behaviour from guys ALL the time.

Pick-up lines, “sex eyes”, sex “actions”, lewd, offensive remarks and other ridiculous tactics are used by men so often that women instinctively put up their defenses when approached by a man in this way (MOST women put up their defenses when men approach them in ANY way). Not only are these tactics pathetic and useless attempts at trying to grab a woman’s attention, it NEVER generates ANY attraction at all and it’s extremely harmful to the way you’re perceived by her because you’re coming from a position of being a pursuer (not to mention being a complete nuisance).

In order for you to successfully pick-up a woman, you need to create the perception that you’re highly valuable so SHE is compelled to pursue YOU. You need to possess attractive characteristics and personality traits that compel her to find you interesting and engaging enough to want to begin an interaction. Once the interaction has begun, then you need to behave in a way that conveys you’re a guy she trusts and feels safe with.

I’m going to share a couple of key aspects that will provide you with a better understanding of how to BE more attractive and interesting, create the feelings of trust and safety, and help you begin transforming from dating dud to seducer extraordinaire! In order for these concepts to work though, you’re going to have to abandon EVERYTHING you thought you knew about picking up hot women. Forget what the media portrays, what your mother told you, what women SAY they want. Forget it ALL!

Be Different

The first step, is that YOU need to BE DIFFERENT from all the other guys out there trying to pick-up women. That’s the bottom line. To stand out from the crowd, you simply CANNOT be the same or behave the same way as everyone else. You NEED to be a different type of man and behave in a different way to set yourself apart and stand out in the minds of the women you come into contact with.

So, the first step is … Be Different!

STOP using all the old, overused, overrated pick-up lines and behaviour NOW. STOP making sex the reason for interacting and focus on simply talking and connecting. Doing just this one thing will INSTANTLY set you apart from over 95% of the other males out there. Instead of using the same tactics that all the other guys are using to approach and introduce themselves to women, behave NORMALLY (as you would around your guy friends), and remain cool and calm.

It’s more than enough to simply smile and say “Hi” to start a conversation with a woman. You don’t need any fancy pick-up lines. Strike up a “normal” conversation by asking her how her night is going, what brings her out, who she’s with etc, and work off the threads of information she gives you to continue talking and communicating with her.

DON’T constantly question her, don’t interrogate her. Just talk – LISTEN – and communicate NATURALLY.

Add a strong level of relaxed confidence into your behavior and BOOM … You’re instantly BEING different!
You WILL stand out in her mind, naturally sparking her interest in you.

Behave Attractively

Continuing on with being different, you also need to BEHAVE in a way that conveys you possess a strong, masculine personality and high social power and value – in other words, demonstrates that you’re a high value, attractive man. It’s crucially important that you possess the body language and behaviour traits that trigger automatic, subconscious attraction in women. It’s a constant uphill battle if you’re instantly perceived and judged to be a low value guy – in fact the reality is, you won’t even get a chance to start any interactions because the ladies will put their defense’s up the minute you approach them.

To minimize the likelihood of encountering female defense tactics, it’s important that you’re always exuding a powerful, relaxed and supremely confident presence. Hold and conduct yourself in a strong and masculine manner. Exude fun, happiness and excitement. When you project these high value characteristics and behaviour traits, women will INSTANTLY be attracted to your appearance and your behaviour, compelling them to be more open to interacting with you.

A Beautiful Secret about Women

The second step to success is understanding the magnificent truth of reality … Women LOVE Sex!

Yeah, you heard me right. They love sex. Regardless of what we’ve all been told and conditioned to believe, women LOVE sex! And they are dying to meet a man who excites them enough that they want to have sex with him. They dream and fantasize about meeting such a man. The key for us is learning how to trigger that excitement and attraction within them.

Here’s the thing that makes it difficult for the average man to succeed … Ever since they were little girls, women have been programmed by society to be respectable ladies. They’ve been taught the importance of having a solid reputation and warned of the dangers of being labeled a slut. This is why they feel a great amount of pressure and discomfort when they are approached by men who have NOT demonstrated enough value and are blatantly seeking sex.

The sad truth for most women – and the barrier to success for most guys – is that they are constantly bombarded by these types of advances from men. As a result, most guys they meet repel and disgust them, meaning they find it difficult to find the type of man they instinctively find attractive (or the men they do find attractive, turn out to be the jerks and assholes they’re always complaining about).

In short, they don’t easily TRUST men who approach them. And that’s because most men come at this completely wrong. In order for you to enjoy greater success, you need to view your approach in an entirely different way.

It’s ALL about Safety and Trust

If you want a woman to have sex with you, she NEEDS to feel SAFE and TRUST you.

Just because I told you she enjoys sex, doesn’t mean you’ve been licensed to blatantly seek it from her. If you do, once again, you’ll be just like every other guy and you’ll FAIL. You need to remember the great effort she puts into keeping her secret, and living up to the standards that have been imposed on her by societal programming. The ONLY way she’ll EVER open up to you is if she feels comfortable being around you and trusts that you’re a confidential guy who will NOT destroy her reputation.

However, you can’t be too careful and “nice” either. If you don’t possess the courage and balls to PROJECT your sexual interest – without blatantly displaying it – and convey your intentions through both verbal and nonverbal communication skills, then women will assume you’re either not interested in them, or they’ll believe you’re just another weak, insecure, boring guy who they find completely unattractive.

So, it’s important to begin by facing reality … Of course you want to have sex with her! BUT, you NEED to keep this to yourself for now. Being too upfront about your intentions will make her feel uncomfortable and you will be labeled as another loser trying to get into her pants.

After you’ve generated initial attraction, the next step is to establish SAFETY and TRUST!

To establish this trust and feeling of safety, once again, it’s important that you set yourself apart from all the other guys. As long as you don’t appear to be a “threat” to her sexual sanctity – or her physical well-being – you stand a good chance of creating a positive impression and perception in her mind. Once a woman decides she feels safe around you, trust naturally follows close behind.

The question is, HOW do we create this safety and trust?

Well there are a couple of simple but powerful things you can do. First, by projecting a powerful, relaxed confident personality and a strong, masculine presence, you’ll be displaying the characteristics that people subconsciously perceive as genuine and trustworthy (we’re instinctively programmed to trust in strength and confidence, we automatically mistrust weakness and insecurity).

When you approach a woman/women, instead of using a canned pick-up line, just say HI. Hi is such a non-threatening opener. All you’re doing is being friendly. There’s no hidden agenda, no blatant disregard for a woman’s sexual reputation. You’re just a friendly, confident guy (something that turns on over 90% of women). This is extremely powerful when used in conjunction with a cool, calm and relaxed demeanour and a strong, masculine presence.

There’s also a powerful verbal communication method you can use to create a strong subconscious sense of trust in you. This method is a specific psychological language structure that elicits a strong perception of truthfulness, conveying that you’re a truthful – therefore trustworthy – man. When you speak the truth (regardless of how obvious it is), you’re positively influencing her perception that you’re an honest person, naturally increasing her trust in you. Here’s what you do …

… Highlight three statements of truth about your environment and wrap them around a statement of your desired outcome. For example, let’s say that you’re sitting at a table, hanging out with some friends in a bar. You see a woman sitting at the bar, having a drink alone. You decide to meet this lady so you walk over and stand next to her, and after you’ve said hi, you say, “I was sitting over there with my friends and couldn’t help noticing you sitting here drinking alone. I’m impressed and fascinated with your presence – you seem like a cool person. You mind some company for a little bit?”

The truthfulness in my statement is pretty clear and evident:

  • “I WAS sitting with my friends”
  • “She IS sitting at the bar alone”
  • “She DOES have a drink”

My statements are true and my intention is clear, yet my sexual interest isn’t blatant or unoffensive. In fact, it’s so subtle that it doesn’t even seem like it’s a pick-up routine. It just seems like I’m a cool, confident and socially mindful guy who is befriending someone who is alone at the moment. The likelihood of her rejecting an interaction are pretty slim. For starters, she’ll trust me on a subconscious level. And because we’re compelled by natural and powerful psychological programming to like those who like us, she’ll be more open to talking for a few minutes because she KNOWS I think she’s cool – I told her.

The third step to success, is understanding that your body language is far more revealing (and important) than you can ever imagine!

Most men fail with women because their body language portrays a sexual advance that ALL women can sense a mile away. These guys will invade a woman’s personal space and their body positioning and behavior says; “I think you’re hot. I want to fuck you NOW, that’s ALL I care about. And I have complete and total disregard for your sexual reputation!”

The ladies are understandably IMMEDIATELY repelled and disgusted by this type of behaviour!

So, in order for you to be viewed as being different, STOP emitting an overtly sexual signal. You can achieve this by doing one simple trick. When you’re speaking with a woman, make sure you’re NOT facing her directly or leaning in towards her. Remain side on, or facing her but leaning back.

Using this simple body language trick will subconsciously convey to her that you’re NOT seeking her attention, NOT (overtly) trying to get into her pants and is an extremely powerful attraction trigger (this will help you to be perceived as The Prize, NOT the pursuer). But more importantly, you’ll be deemed as SAFE in her eyes, which makes you very, very different from all the other guys out there trying to get into her pants.

Once you’re deemed as safe, women will be more than happy to give you their time (hell, they’ll be BEGGING you for your attention if your game is tight).
These are just a couple of tips to help you approach women and become more successful in your interactions with them. They’re by no means the only aspects you require to succeed in the dating trenches. There is a whole host of other skills and abilities that you’ll need to develop to have consistent success, but I know without a shadow of doubt, that implementing these tips can help you achieve far greater success in your immediate interactions with women.

Go out there, practice with this information you’ve learned today and start applying your new knowledge. Just remember … It’s ALL about safety and trust when you’re interacting with women, building attraction and succeeding in pickups.

All the best


Approaching Women – Here’s A Method I’ve Used To Meet Countless Women

To start with, I want you to realize that it is possible to meet women ANYWHERE.  Having said that though, while it’s possible to meet women anywhere – even if you are just walking down the street – it’s more probable that you will meet them at a public gathering.

In my opinion, it’s definitely a lot easier at public gatherings – you know they are there for a reason, and more than likely, NOT in a hurry to leave.

Places like pubs, bars, nightclubs, parties, restaurants, cafe’s, stores, malls, outdoor events or get-togethers, are all places you are MOST likely to meet women.  While each of these settings has its own set of challenges, advantages and dis-advantages for meeting and attracting women, your success will ALWAYS depend entirely on YOUR skills and abilities in approach and attraction.

Regardless of what setting you may be in, the fundamentals are ALWAYS the same.  If you can learn and apply these key fundamental skills and methods, then you are more likely to see success.

O.k, so you have seen a woman you like the look of.  You feel the need to meet her and get to know her better.  How do you go about it?  Well here is a method I’ve used on countless occasions and had incredible success rates with.

I’ve found that this method works best if you approach a set of 2 or more women.  Also, don’t be discouraged if the set has men in it.  Just befriend them as well, and the women will be even more impressed with your social skills.  (Women LOVE men that are ‘leaders of men’).

This method is best suited to a social setting, like a bar, lounge or cafe.  Just remember, you are going to be talking, so a loud dance club isn’t an ideal location.

Also, this works equally well if you are either alone or with a friend.  Either way, it doesn’t really matter.  But I’ve found – although if you are just beginning, it may feel a little too intimidating – it’s actually more effective if you are alone.  But only IF you display the confidence, behavior traits and characteristics of an Alpha Male.

First, this needs a small amount of previous preparation, and requires you to have friends who play the game of attraction and seduction as well.  (Shouldn’t be too hard considering we are ALL interested in being more attractive to women.)

All you do, is get a wing-man to text a message to you, stating that he has just found out his girlfriend is cheating on him, and doesn’t know what to do.  He also says he doesn’t want to confront her because he doesn’t want to destroy their relationship.

Send a text back saying that she is already destroying their relationship, and if he doesn’t confront her, then you will, because you will NOT stand idly by while she hurts him.  Then he sends a final message back saying that he appreciates your loyalty but doesn’t want you to cause any drama, and he will sort it out his own way.

Now approach the set, and say;  “Hey guys look, I only have a few spare moments, but I could really use a woman’s opinion, can you help me out?”

Note:  Remember, it is ESSENTIAL, that you ALWAYS display the CORRECT, attractive attitudes and characteristics when approaching. (See 5 Keys to Approaching Women).  Also, by letting the set know that your time is limited, it sub-consciously lets them know, that you are NOT trying to intrude on their time and space, and impose yourself on their group.

Women love to give advice to men, and it is extremely rare that a set of women will refuse to help out a man who has the balls and courage to approach them and ask for help.

Side Note:  If they do refuse to help you , continue to be happy and friendly to them, thank them for their time and confidently walk away.  If there is another set of women close by, approach them and apply the same methods.  It’s important to do this, because it displays to your target group, that your intentions for approaching them stem from a genuine need for help.

This will build social value in the eyes of your target group – as they witness your high level of social skill – and more than likely, they will be more than willing to help you out after you leave the second set of women.

Anyway, back on track.

When they agree to help you, tell them that a friend of yours has just found out that his girlfriend is cheating on him.  Show them the messages on your phone.

Now tell them that you’re really pissed off, and finding it hard to stand by and watch him being dragged through the mud.  Tell them you don’t know whether to follow your instincts and confront the girlfriend about her cheating, or honor your friends wishes.  Ask them what they would do in your situation.

Once they start to talk about the issue, sit there and listen to them for a few moments.  More than likely, they will all chip in and say things together.  Anyway, sooner or later you are going to have to interrupt the flow of conversation for a brief moment to introduce yourself.

All it takes is to simply say;  “What are your names guys?  I’m (Your Name).” Now just carry on with the conversation.

Now it’s important to note, that this conversation starter WON’T instantly make any of these women –  let alone your target woman –  fall for you.  This method is NOT designed for that anyway.  What it does do, is open the set of women in a specific way, that helps them to lower their defenses against your approach.

As you know, ALL women put their guards up if ANY man – unless he is famous, or already has high social proof in their eyes – approaches.  It’s just their natural instincts to protect themselves from the advances of ALL the loser type men that ALWAYS try to score with them.

Now that you’ve opened the set of women, the next stage is to create and build attraction.  This article is already becoming too long, so we will continue to concentrate on the creation and building of attraction in this situation, in another article.

Just remember, that you will have just displayed so many attractive qualities to these women.  By confidently approaching their group, and displaying to them your caring nature and loyalty to your friend, your honor towards his wishes, as well as your attractive Alpha Male attitude and characteristics, they will be absolutely compelled, and more than happy to sit there and share their thoughts and advice with you.

Take full advantage of this valuable opportunity to enter their group, and use this time to create and build attraction.  Stay tuned for the next information packed article.

All the best guys



5 Keys To Approaching Women – The Right Way

Let me ask you this:  How many times have you seen a woman and been attracted to her, and wanted to meet her SO badly, but …  you just couldn’t bring yourself to approach her and start a conversation?

You just WISH you knew the RIGHT things to do and the RIGHT things to say.  But you didn’t, and you just sat there and let ANOTHER opportunity to meet a beautiful woman slip right through your fingers!

I know for myself, I’d been in that very situation COUNTLESS times throughout my teen and adult life.  Before I learned what I know now, EVERY time I saw a woman I liked the look of, I would suffer that torment that so many ordinary guys go through, with all the usual accompanying thoughts and feelings.

You know the ones – those feelings of fear, anxiety, apprehension, the lack of self confidence, and the loss for words and the RIGHT things to say to get her to like you.  You sit there asking yourself questions like – “how do I start talking to her?”, “what will I say?”, “what if I make a dick of myself?”, “why would she even wanna talk to someone like me!”.

Well, I want to assure you that there are things you can do and say.  There are many men – men who have their “game” together – all over the world who approach women and start conversations with them every single day.  And, they get their phone numbers or email addresses and organize a time to do something – together.

Why should it be any different for you, and why shouldn’t YOU get some of those millions of women out there, for yourself?

If you learn some simple approach and conversation methods, AS WELL AS learning and APPLYING the CORRECT attitudes, characteristics and behavior traits that women are instinctively programmed to respond to, then you CAN have your fair share of women too.  BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!

Never again will you have to suffer that torment of feeling like a gutless wimp, because you are NOT able to approach a woman, start a conversation and get her number so you can take things further.

So, here are 5 VITALLY important attitudes, characteristics and behavior traits that you NEED to display when approaching a woman.

  • Relax! This is SO important.  If you are uptight, nervous and self conscious, then your attitude and behavior will not be attractive at all.  Women can smell fear and lack of confidence better than dogs can smell shit.  If you want to stand any sort of chance with ANY woman – regardless of what she looks like – then you absolutely MUST remain easygoing and relaxed.
  • Be Happy! How many times have you thought about approaching a gorgeous girl?  Countless times right?  And, how many times did you picture yourself HAPPY about having to approach her?  I’m guessing if you are anything like I was, NOT many, am I right again?  In fact, do you even think about being happy when you are faced with that situation?  I know for me, I would fantasize about being cool, and suave, but deep down, I was ALWAYS far too concerned about my fear and nervousness to even think about being happy – let alone displaying myself as a cool, suave man.  But, it’s such an important factor in any approach, and without it, you’re doomed.  Women are attracted to happy guys, so it’s VITALLY important that you get yourself into the right frame of mind BEFORE you even think about approaching.  Your attitude and demeanor will directly affect the outcome of your encounter.  So for a positive outcome, you MUST have a positive attitude, be easygoing, relaxed and HAPPY.
  • Be CONFIDENT. We talk so much about confidence, and sometimes it must sound like a broken record.  But honestly, it really is one of the fundamental keys to success with women.  You can know all the best pick up lines and routines on earth, but without confidence, NOTHING you do will ever amount to any sort of success with women.  Women are NOT attracted to men who lack confidence!
  • Be Prepared. Just like the boy scouts always say, you should ALWAYS be prepared.  This is a vital key in successful approaches.  Why?  Because by being prepared, you can eliminate (or at least minimize) any fears, nervousness or anxiety that can be caused by you having to step out of “the” comfort zone.  You know the zone – the one where it would be “nice” to be able to approach any woman you like, but you know you’re NOT really going to.  So to succeed in getting out of that comfort zone, it’s important to be prepared with something to say to initiate contact and spark interest, and then, continue a conversation so you can start to build a level of comfort and rapport.
  • Focus on HER! This point could be first as well, but I put it last because I want you to understand the importance of YOUR mindset, attitudes and behavior first.  Those are the vital ingredients for your success with women.  Now, we are talking about focusing on her BEFORE you initiate contact.  Firstly, focusing on her helps you to gain information about her e.g. is she alone, what type of mood does she appear to be in, does she seem to be enjoying herself etc.  The more information you have, the more prepared you can tailor your approach to suit the situation, and increase the chance of success.  Secondly (and more importantly) it helps you to shift the focus away from your own negative thoughts, fears, anxieties and doubts.  This is a crucial part of preparing to approach because it helps you to get in the right frame of mind, and gives you the best chance of a successful encounter.  You MUST eliminate any self doubt, fear and anxiety or it will show through in your demeanor and behavior, and destroy your ability to appear cool and suave.

These attitudes, characteristics and behavior traits are essential keys to being successful when approaching women.  If you can learn, apply and make these things an integral part of your personality, then meeting and attracting women anywhere, anytime will become a breeze, and a natural part of who you are.

In the next article I will be giving you a couple simple approach routines and conversation starters, with specific things you can say and do that will greatly increase your chances of successful approaching and pick-ups.

Stay tuned and keep going with the study and practice guys.  Till  next time,