By: Thundercat ArtOfApproaching.com
I have a question for you…
Have you ever heard that old addage “Nice Guys Finish Last?”
Well, I’m here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for
the reasons you may think.
Being a “Nice Guy” with women doesn’t work, not because you get too
caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but
because Nice Guys are typically very, very…
That’s right. When you’re a “Nice Guy,” you’re not really being
nice, you’re being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.
Let me explain…
One of the biggest problems guys who are struggling with women face
is something I like to call “the Nice Guy factor.”
So many guys have such a weak identity and so little self-esteem,
that they base their own self-worth on what other people THINK OF
These guys are at the mercy of everyone else in their lives, so
they try their best to please the people around them, hoping
they’ll continue to think highly of them, so they can feel good
about themselves. That’s not so bad, right? It feels good when
others approve of you, doesn’t it?
Most people look at this behavior and would instantly categorize
these poor men in the “Nice Guys” column. After all, they’re the
ones who don’t like conflict. They’re the ones who don’t want to
make waves. They’re the ones who want everyone to be happy.
They are also some of the most selfish people on the planet.
Seriously. I know this because I used to be one of these people,
and I know all their dirty little secrets! And the point of this
newsletter is to make everyone who thinks of themselves as “nice”
or as a “victim” really, really pissed off!!!
All of you “Nice Guys” out there reading this are nothing more than
“people pleasers.” Somewhere in your life, you found out that
pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire
you so you can feel good about yourself. Whether it was the
acclaim of your parents, or the acceptance of your friends,
somewhere in your time on this planet YOU LEARNED to feel good
based on what other people think of you.
But I’m here to tell you that using other people’s feelings and
goodwill like that is not only harmful, but dishonest!
Anyone who says “I can’t stand conflict!” or “If you can’t say
anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” should do us all a favor
and move to the planet “Ideal” where life is wonderful, we all have
transparent heads, and there is no war. Only on this planet will
you be able to find that everyone is willing to give you the moral
support you need.
But that’s the crux of the issue right there. All you “Nice Guys”
have a losing mentality about your need for support. Your
methodology is: “I am so loving and giving and nice, I expect you
to treat me the exact same way as I treat you!”
Here is the typical thought process of Nice Guys:
–“Don’t disagree with me! It’s not fair because I do so much for
–“Please be sympathetic and comfort me when I’m upset! I’m needy
and can’t comfort myself.”
–“Always be in a good mood. I am always trying to make you happy
and if I can’t, I feel ashamed and mad at you!”
–“Pay attention to me when I need it! I’ve earned it after all
I’ve done for you!!!!”
–“Take care of me by doing what I’m afraid to do! I take care of
you, so you need to return the favor!!!!”
Look at those thoughts above, and ask yourself “If someone was
saying that to me, how would I react?” Now you know where women
are coming from when they don’t want to have relationships with
Once that happens and the needy demands of “Nice Guys” go unmet,
they fall into the deep pits of self-pity and depression. They
also feel a lot of shame and anger at their failure to please the
women they want, and though these “Nice Guys” can keep their
pleasant demeanor up for a long time, their resentment of the women
they want to please will grow and grow until it explodes in anger
and rage, either directed at others, themselves, or both.
This kind of mentality can extremely damage your self respect and
cause others to not want to be around you.
So what’s a “Nice Guy” to do?
If you want to have success with women, you need to stop being
agreeable and instead be straightforward and honest, especially
when you have to go against the wishes of others and disappoint
them. You can do this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST
do this nonetheless.
Only by being honest, with yourself and with others, will you be
able to overcome the selfish “nice guy” habits you have adopted in
your life. And when you do this, you will stop caring about what
other people think of you because the source of your validation
comes from the fact that you’re being true to yourself and
straightforward with others, and you will cease to harbor
resentment and anger, and have more self respect and less depression.
That is the only way I have found to truly stop being a “Nice Guy”
and become the type of man other people can respect. It can be
hard being honest with others (especially yourself), but in the end
it is far more rewarding than any other behavior you can adopt.
Your first step on the road to being that type of guy should be to
read my book The Art of Approaching. In it, you will learn how to
create the opportunities with women you’ll need to practice being
straightforward and honest with them. If you can be reading my
book in literally minutes by clicking below:
Once you adopt this new way of thinking, you will see your success
with women dramatically improve, so don’t wait! Get The Art of
Approaching right now.
Wishing you success,