You know, when it comes to communicating with women, there is SO MUCH MORE to it than just words. In fact, experts say, more than 90% of human communication is NON-VERBAL. You can see where so many guys go wrong then, by only trying to learn and use canned pick-up lines without applying the necessary non-verbal communication skills.
What this means is, our body language and behavior is far more important in our interactions with women, than our words are. Body language can be used to project either a suave, powerful and charismatic persona, or, a weak, needy and insecure persona. The way in which we carry ourselves and behave can be the determining factor in whether a woman is open to interacting with us or not.
So, I’m going to give you a few tips and suggestions on how to communicate more effectively with women on a non-verbal level, and use your body to project an image of suave, charismatic, dominant, alpha male attractiveness.
First, you need to SMILE! This is probably the simplest and most obvious body language tool you can use. Smiling is very difficult to ignore and portrays confidence, positivity, friendliness and the likelihood that you’re someone who is fun to be with. Smiling also conveys one very important factor about yourself – that you are NOT dangerous.
Women are usually smaller than us men. When they are first getting to know us, they will ALWAYS be thinking in the back of their minds whether or not we are dangerous, violent or crazy, and whether or not, they can feel comfortable and safe around us. By smiling, you can help ease this fear.
Second, USE “OPEN” AND “DIRECT” BODY LANGUAGE. What this means is, opening up your body posture and exposing and presenting yourself by facing the other person, relaxing your arms and letting your hands hang freely at your sides. Presenting yourself in an open manner, leaves you in a vulnerable state, and because of your willingness to do that, makes you appear extremely confident, powerful and dominant.
Most men are afraid of being vulnerable in this way, and tend to use “closed” body language to reduce the level of perceived intimacy. By being “open” with your body language, you invite others to be intimate, but you also increase the possibility and risk of rejection.
So, most men use “closed” or “indirect” body postures, like facing their head, shoulders or body away from others, crossing their arms, or holding objects like drinks across their chests to provide a barrier. This provides protection against possible rejection and embarrassment.
The flip side to doing this though guys, is that it’s NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN! While this may serve to reduce the risk to you in the interaction, it WONT portray to women that you are a confident, powerful, dominant and suave man. So keep your body “open” and “direct”to attract women.
Third, USE STRONG, DIRECT EYE CONTACT. Eye contact is one of THE most powerful and arousing “weapons” in your arsenal, and is near impossible to ignore. Equaled only by smiling and touching, it demonstrates that you have extremely high self-confidence. This portrays to women that you are interested in them and what they have to say, or if you are still strangers to each other, sub-consciously shows them that you are a confident, self assured man.
Studies have shown that sustained eye contact boosts physiological arousal, which means that if you use it properly, it will make you seem more attractive and exciting to women. So use eye contact as often as possible. Also, let women break eye contact first. This will display your inner strength, self control and shows them you are NOT afraid of them.
You do need to be careful NOT to overdo it though. Too much direct eye contact will make women feel uncomfortable, creep them out and they WILL label you as a WEIRDO. NOT the effect you want to have on women when you are trying to be suave!
Fourth, GET CLOSE. By standing or sitting closer to a woman, it reduces not only the real distance between the two of you, but also the psychological distance as well. Doing this helps create more intimacy with her, and can create the perception of togetherness between the two of you. Getting closer to her also helps boosts arousal levels, which will again make you seem “different” to other guys.
By getting closer to her and giving her your undivided attention, you’re telling her that you find her, and what she has to say, more interesting than what’s going on around you. Plus, she is forced to reciprocate and give her undivided attention back to you.
Finally, TOUCH HER. I don’t mean grope her and feel her up. That’s just charmless, inappropriate, uncool and plain ugly behavior. What I mean is, touching appropriately has an immediate and magical effect on women. Actually, ALL people are positively affected by touch. Touching is a powerful way of establishing instant rapport and creating an immediate bond with another person if done correctly.
Touching can make you instantly unforgettable and turbo boost your attractiveness. It also helps to build trust and comfort which will enable women to WANT to be intimate with you. But, it does have to be done in an appropriate manner at an appropriate time. Touching a woman too much, too soon, or in the WRONG WAY, can have a negative effect and destroy your chances of generating any attraction.
You need to pay attention to the mood and feel of the situation. You should NEVER force a touch if the mood or situation doesn’t feel right. Just like going in for the first kiss, the first touch has to be done at the right time and in the right situation or you can do more harm than good.
Having said that, THE BEST time to start initiating physical contact is right from the beginning of your encounters. Casually touching the outside of a woman’s right arm when you introduce yourself and shake her hand, sub-consciously sends a signal to her that you are a confident, personable and socially adept person. It gets her used to your touch right away and it’s also a non-threatening way to touch, because the outside of the arm is not intimate enough to feel out of place or weird.
By establishing a level of physical contact early, it is far easier to move on to more intimate touching as the encounter develops. Most guys do one of two things. They either go charging in, making the woman feel uncomfortable, or worse, violated. Or they don’t touch her at all, which makes them seem either uninterested in her or too timid to make a move. These behaviors are all extremely unattractive to women, and none of them will get you ANYWHERE if you want to succeed.
The point is, is that touching is such a powerful tool in the arsenal of a Suave Man, and you absolutely must use touch to increase women’s arousal and attraction levels. Start physical contact right away, continue to touch to help maintain the rapport and bond you have created, and keep increasing the physical contact to build mutually felt sexual attraction.
I recommend you implement ALL these suggestions into your personality and behaviors, and start to communicate with women on a highly attractive, non-verbal level. These are ALL things I use on a daily basis, in every encounter I have, and I firmly believe they are a major factor for my success with women.
We will be going into finer detail and greater depth later on about the different aspects we have discussed, so stay tuned for more. Have fun trying these things out, and don’t hesitate to write and let me know how it’s all going.
All the best.