One of the biggest, and most powerful keys to successfully attracting and seducing women, is using the power of touch (Kino as it is commonly referred to in the seduction community). Touch has an amazing effect on ALL humans. Touch can make us feel comfortable, connected and bonded with whoever has touched us. We are all endowed with a chemical reaction to touch called the Oxytocin Response.
Think about what happens to you when you are touched by someone else. Usually, you’ll feel a spark, you feel closer, more connected and bonded with that person right? And, if that person happens to be female, chances are you WILL find yourself attracted to her, even if she is NOT your ideal woman.
Humans ALL desire physical contact and when that desire is met in the right way, our bodies are flooded with a powerful sex hormone called oxytocin. Oxytocin causes our bodies to increase testosterone levels, and as we are all aware, testosterone is responsible for our sexual urges. When we are touched, the oxytocin cycle starts, it makes us feel good and we want more touch. The more we are touched, the more testosterone is pumped through our body, and the more touch we desire. And on and on the cycle goes. That’s why us men get horny when women touch us.
The thing about the oxytocin response though, is that it requires estrogen as well. Even though everyone produces estrogen, women obviously produce a hell of a LOT more than men do, which makes the response to touch all the more stronger for them. So think about how you feel when you are touched and multiply that by about 10 times. That’s how strong the oxytocin response is for women. It’s that powerful. Which means … Women LOVE to be touched!
So now that you know women ACTUALLY LOVE to be touched, and touching has a powerful effect on them, how can you start to use it, so you can get women to have those incredibly powerful, electric and intoxicating feelings for YOU?
The key is to begin physical contact as early as possible to get the oxytocin cycle started. This will not only give women the impression that being “touchy” is just NATURAL behavior for you, and get them ready and prepared for future touching, but will also help them get the sexual feelings that result from the oxytocin response associated with YOU.
Now, this doesn’t mean you go grabbing and groping wherever you like, especially early in the interaction. Making too much or inappropriate contact, can upset the oxytocin response by causing feelings of fight/flight, which testosterone is ALSO responsible for. She WILL feel threatened, maybe even violated, and you WILL be on her CREEP list.
You need to to be playfully confident to by-pass her defenses. By being confident and playful, you won’t come across as a weird creep and you won’t threaten her. Your confidence will make touching feel NATURAL, and your playful behavior will make it seem FUN. You also want contact to be light and fleeting in the beginning, as this too will also make everything seem natural. Being too sensual early on can make things feel weird to the woman, and once again, she will put her defenses up.
Remember, seduction is a step by step process. It’s NOT a sprinting race to see how fast you can get there. Take things slowly, follow the process and build tension gradually. Here is the process I use to introduce and build Kino when I meet a woman:
- Introduction. This is the PERFECT time to start using Kino, because starting right from the beginning helps women to become familiar and comfortable with your touch. Trying to implement Kino later on can make the situation feel weird, as women will notice the shift in your behavior and wonder WHY you have changed. It’s far better, and much easier to increase the level of Kino in the future, by getting them used to your touch right off the bat. To begin with, ALWAYS offer to shake hands when you meet someone. Not only is it courteous behavior, but it also displays a high level of confidence, and demonstrates that you have great social skills. So, when I shake her hand, I will place my left hand on her right upper arm area or clasp her right hand to accentuate my touch, and to help build rapport with her. This is a powerful technique you can use to help build an instant connection with ANYONE you meet.
- Act Playful, Confident and Funny (Cocky and Funny). You have the initial introductions out of the way, now is the time to help her become more comfortable with you and your touch, and the best way to do that is – to use Kino while you make fun of her and tease her. Average guys will try to be too deep and meaningful at this stage and try to build a deep connection. Most women though, haven’t had the time to build that connection where they feel comfortable enough to reveal their inner-most thoughts and feelings. So, the guy just ends up making the situation feel weird, and once again, she puts her defenses up. You NEED to follow the steps, and this step here is to build comfort and rapport, by BY-PASSING her defenses. You do that by acting “cocky and funny”. Start teasing her about something you notice, or something she says. Then playfully hit her. Hit her on the arm or shoulder, and continue to behave this way. This will portray your confidence in the situation, demonstrate your ability to have fun, and sub-consciously show her that you are NOT afraid of her.
- Increase Contact and its Meaning. As you get to know the woman better, it is essential for you to increase the amount of touch and the under-lying meaning behind your touches. You need to go from playful touching, to touching that displays your intentions more openly. Once again though, this still doesn’t give you a license to grab and grope. Start by holding her hand. Grab her hand and say something sweet about her, then let it go and carry on as if nothing has happened. Make a comment about her smile, or the cute way she laughs or anything else you notice. I also like to increase touch and its meaning by placing my hand on the small of her back, pull her a little bit closer and say something. For example, if we’re at a club I’ll say, “When a good song comes on, come and dance with me”. I’ll state it to her as well, rather than ask for permission to take her. Women respond to leadership, not lame requests. Asking leaves her the option of declining you, where as statements are a powerful way of sub-consciously stating your dominance, authority and leadership. Statements that are accentuated with Kino, are a very powerful sub-conscious method of telling women what you want, while portraying your Alpha Maleness. I have used this method so many times I can’t even put a number on it anymore. And it has worked EVERY SINGLE TIME! Without fail. The only answer I ever get from using that statement is – “O.K”. So state what you would like to do rather than asking if you can.
- Withdraw Yourself and Your Touch from Her. Now that you have established rapport and built a connection, it is VITALLY important to withdraw yourself away from the woman, and give her some space to start missing your touch and presence. Once you have started using Kino and the woman is becoming comfortable with your touch, NOT TOUCHING is just as important as touching. This will display your coolness, and show her that you are NOT overly eager to be with her. Most average guys are way too eager to score with women, and when things are going really well, will usually OVER-STAY their welcome because of their fear of losing them. They smother the woman with attention, and don’t give her the necessary room to dwell on her feelings. By withdrawing your touch and presence from a woman, you give her the chance to reflect on how good you have made her feel, and yearn to feel your touch again. So go and hang out with your friends, or meet and talk to other people. Anything, just get away from her. Doing this shows that you are NOT desperate. Women are not attracted to desperate men, so don’t behave like one.
- Use Kino to Lead Her. Now that you have given her time to miss you, go back and lead her to where you said you would. When I say to a woman that we should dance, I’ll go back – when I’m ready – grab her by the hand and LEAD HER to the dance floor. Don’t ASK, just DO IT! This has a very powerful effect on her, because you are behaving EXACTLY how she wants a man to behave. You are displaying your highly attractive Alpha Male qualities that she is sub-consciously programmed to respond to. You are doing what women DREAM about. You are being a powerful, dominant leader, and you will sweep her off her feet by doing this. When you get to the dance floor, put your hands on her hips, pull her close to you and dance. Dance cheek to cheek. Put your ear close to her. Let her feel the skin of your face on hers. Let her feel your warm breath on her skin. Let the power of the oxytocin response fill her body with electric, intoxicating feelings of sexual goodness.
- Isolate Her and Turn Up the Heat. By this stage the oxytocin response will be so overpowering to her, that she will most likely lose all sense of logic, and start acting on her emotions. And those emotions will be telling her that YOU are the one she wants to be with. She will associate all those good feelings with you and not want to let you go. Once a woman feels this way, it’s time to isolate her from her friends. You need to isolate women, because they are inhibited by their fear of judgement from their peers. By isolating them, they no longer feel anyone is judging them. Lead them to a quiet corner of the bar, or better still, lead them to a completely new place. Once you isolate her, then you can turn up the heat and become more intimate.
This is the process I have used successfully so many times in the past to introduce and build Kino. It works for me, and it’s worked for many, many others. Even though this is quite a long article, we haven’t even touched the surface of what you can do and the numerous methods and techniques that can be used.
There is still so much more information to share with you. There are verbal communication skills, non-verbal communication skills, conversation skills, body language issues, closing skills and getting digits, and so many other topics that relate to this one, but I just can’t put it all in one post. Hopefully this is a good start for you, and can help you understand the power of Kino, and also become familiar with and comfortable touching women from now on.
Stay tuned for more in-depth information and powerful insights, and as always, don’t hesitate to post your thoughts and experiences, and let me know how it’s all going.
All the best on your journey to success.