5 Keys To Approaching Women – The Right Way

Let me ask you this:  How many times have you seen a woman and been attracted to her, and wanted to meet her SO badly, but …  you just couldn’t bring yourself to approach her and start a conversation?

You just WISH you knew the RIGHT things to do and the RIGHT things to say.  But you didn’t, and you just sat there and let ANOTHER opportunity to meet a beautiful woman slip right through your fingers!

I know for myself, I’d been in that very situation COUNTLESS times throughout my teen and adult life.  Before I learned what I know now, EVERY time I saw a woman I liked the look of, I would suffer that torment that so many ordinary guys go through, with all the usual accompanying thoughts and feelings.

You know the ones – those feelings of fear, anxiety, apprehension, the lack of self confidence, and the loss for words and the RIGHT things to say to get her to like you.  You sit there asking yourself questions like – “how do I start talking to her?”, “what will I say?”, “what if I make a dick of myself?”, “why would she even wanna talk to someone like me!”.

Well, I want to assure you that there are things you can do and say.  There are many men – men who have their “game” together – all over the world who approach women and start conversations with them every single day.  And, they get their phone numbers or email addresses and organize a time to do something – together.

Why should it be any different for you, and why shouldn’t YOU get some of those millions of women out there, for yourself?

If you learn some simple approach and conversation methods, AS WELL AS learning and APPLYING the CORRECT attitudes, characteristics and behavior traits that women are instinctively programmed to respond to, then you CAN have your fair share of women too.  BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!

Never again will you have to suffer that torment of feeling like a gutless wimp, because you are NOT able to approach a woman, start a conversation and get her number so you can take things further.

So, here are 5 VITALLY important attitudes, characteristics and behavior traits that you NEED to display when approaching a woman.

  • Relax! This is SO important.  If you are uptight, nervous and self conscious, then your attitude and behavior will not be attractive at all.  Women can smell fear and lack of confidence better than dogs can smell shit.  If you want to stand any sort of chance with ANY woman – regardless of what she looks like – then you absolutely MUST remain easygoing and relaxed.
  • Be Happy! How many times have you thought about approaching a gorgeous girl?  Countless times right?  And, how many times did you picture yourself HAPPY about having to approach her?  I’m guessing if you are anything like I was, NOT many, am I right again?  In fact, do you even think about being happy when you are faced with that situation?  I know for me, I would fantasize about being cool, and suave, but deep down, I was ALWAYS far too concerned about my fear and nervousness to even think about being happy – let alone displaying myself as a cool, suave man.  But, it’s such an important factor in any approach, and without it, you’re doomed.  Women are attracted to happy guys, so it’s VITALLY important that you get yourself into the right frame of mind BEFORE you even think about approaching.  Your attitude and demeanor will directly affect the outcome of your encounter.  So for a positive outcome, you MUST have a positive attitude, be easygoing, relaxed and HAPPY.
  • Be CONFIDENT. We talk so much about confidence, and sometimes it must sound like a broken record.  But honestly, it really is one of the fundamental keys to success with women.  You can know all the best pick up lines and routines on earth, but without confidence, NOTHING you do will ever amount to any sort of success with women.  Women are NOT attracted to men who lack confidence!
  • Be Prepared. Just like the boy scouts always say, you should ALWAYS be prepared.  This is a vital key in successful approaches.  Why?  Because by being prepared, you can eliminate (or at least minimize) any fears, nervousness or anxiety that can be caused by you having to step out of “the” comfort zone.  You know the zone – the one where it would be “nice” to be able to approach any woman you like, but you know you’re NOT really going to.  So to succeed in getting out of that comfort zone, it’s important to be prepared with something to say to initiate contact and spark interest, and then, continue a conversation so you can start to build a level of comfort and rapport.
  • Focus on HER! This point could be first as well, but I put it last because I want you to understand the importance of YOUR mindset, attitudes and behavior first.  Those are the vital ingredients for your success with women.  Now, we are talking about focusing on her BEFORE you initiate contact.  Firstly, focusing on her helps you to gain information about her e.g. is she alone, what type of mood does she appear to be in, does she seem to be enjoying herself etc.  The more information you have, the more prepared you can tailor your approach to suit the situation, and increase the chance of success.  Secondly (and more importantly) it helps you to shift the focus away from your own negative thoughts, fears, anxieties and doubts.  This is a crucial part of preparing to approach because it helps you to get in the right frame of mind, and gives you the best chance of a successful encounter.  You MUST eliminate any self doubt, fear and anxiety or it will show through in your demeanor and behavior, and destroy your ability to appear cool and suave.

These attitudes, characteristics and behavior traits are essential keys to being successful when approaching women.  If you can learn, apply and make these things an integral part of your personality, then meeting and attracting women anywhere, anytime will become a breeze, and a natural part of who you are.

In the next article I will be giving you a couple simple approach routines and conversation starters, with specific things you can say and do that will greatly increase your chances of successful approaching and pick-ups.

Stay tuned and keep going with the study and practice guys.  Till  next time,



Do You Suffer From “Nice Guy” Syndrome?

By: Thundercat ArtOfApproaching.com

I have a question for you…

Have you ever heard that old addage “Nice Guys Finish Last?”

Well, I’m here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for
the reasons you may think.

Being a “Nice Guy” with women doesn’t work, not because you get too
caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but
because Nice Guys are typically very, very…


That’s right. When you’re a “Nice Guy,” you’re not really being
nice, you’re being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.

Let me explain…

One of the biggest problems guys who are struggling with women face
is something I like to call “the Nice Guy factor.”

So many guys have such a weak identity and so little self-esteem,
that they base their own self-worth on what other people THINK OF

These guys are at the mercy of everyone else in their lives, so
they try their best to please the people around them, hoping
they’ll continue to think highly of them, so they can feel good
about themselves. That’s not so bad, right? It feels good when
others approve of you, doesn’t it?

Most people look at this behavior and would instantly categorize
these poor men in the “Nice Guys” column. After all, they’re the
ones who don’t like conflict. They’re the ones who don’t want to
make waves. They’re the ones who want everyone to be happy.

They are also some of the most selfish people on the planet.

Seriously. I know this because I used to be one of these people,
and I know all their dirty little secrets! And the point of this
newsletter is to make everyone who thinks of themselves as “nice”
or as a “victim” really, really pissed off!!!

All of you “Nice Guys” out there reading this are nothing more than
“people pleasers.” Somewhere in your life, you found out that
pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire
you so you can feel good about yourself. Whether it was the
acclaim of your parents, or the acceptance of your friends,
somewhere in your time on this planet YOU LEARNED to feel good
based on what other people think of you.

But I’m here to tell you that using other people’s feelings and
goodwill like that is not only harmful, but dishonest!

Anyone who says “I can’t stand conflict!” or “If you can’t say
anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” should do us all a favor
and move to the planet “Ideal” where life is wonderful, we all have
transparent heads, and there is no war. Only on this planet will
you be able to find that everyone is willing to give you the moral
support you need.

But that’s the crux of the issue right there. All you “Nice Guys”
have a losing mentality about your need for support. Your
methodology is: “I am so loving and giving and nice, I expect you
to treat me the exact same way as I treat you!”

Here is the typical thought process of Nice Guys:

–“Don’t disagree with me! It’s not fair because I do so much for

–“Please be sympathetic and comfort me when I’m upset! I’m needy
and can’t comfort myself.”

–“Always be in a good mood. I am always trying to make you happy
and if I can’t, I feel ashamed and mad at you!”

–“Pay attention to me when I need it! I’ve earned it after all
I’ve done for you!!!!”

–“Take care of me by doing what I’m afraid to do! I take care of
you, so you need to return the favor!!!!”

Look at those thoughts above, and ask yourself “If someone was
saying that to me, how would I react?” Now you know where women
are coming from when they don’t want to have relationships with
“Nice Guys.”

Once that happens and the needy demands of “Nice Guys” go unmet,
they fall into the deep pits of self-pity and depression. They
also feel a lot of shame and anger at their failure to please the
women they want, and though these “Nice Guys” can keep their
pleasant demeanor up for a long time, their resentment of the women
they want to please will grow and grow until it explodes in anger
and rage, either directed at others, themselves, or both.

This kind of mentality can extremely damage your self respect and
cause others to not want to be around you.

So what’s a “Nice Guy” to do?

If you want to have success with women, you need to stop being
agreeable and instead be straightforward and honest, especially
when you have to go against the wishes of others and disappoint
them. You can do this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST
do this nonetheless.

Only by being honest, with yourself and with others, will you be
able to overcome the selfish “nice guy” habits you have adopted in
your life. And when you do this, you will stop caring about what
other people think of you because the source of your validation
comes from the fact that you’re being true to yourself and
straightforward with others, and you will cease to harbor
resentment and anger, and have more self respect and less depression.

That is the only way I have found to truly stop being a “Nice Guy”
and become the type of man other people can respect. It can be
hard being honest with others (especially yourself), but in the end
it is far more rewarding than any other behavior you can adopt.

Your first step on the road to being that type of guy should be to
read my book The Art of Approaching. In it, you will learn how to
create the opportunities with women you’ll need to practice being
straightforward and honest with them. If you can be reading my
book in literally minutes by clicking below:

Click Here To Download Now!

Once you adopt this new way of thinking, you will see your success
with women dramatically improve, so don’t wait! Get The Art of
Approaching right now.

Wishing you success,



Here’s A Powerful Method To Sexually Arouse A Woman

The first step to sexually arousing women, probably isn’t what you thought it would be.  It’s got NOTHING to do with being romantic.  It’s got NOTHING to do with saying sweet things or writing poems.  It’s got NOTHING to do with buying flowers, and it’s definitely got NOTHING to do with buying them drinks.  It’s got NOTHING to do with the way you kiss them, or the way you caress them (these two things happen AFTER you create sexual arousal).  No, most of these things will NOT sexually arouse a women.
To create sexual arousal in a woman, you must first PROJECT a SEXUAL PERSONA and STATE OF BEING – in other words, the way you BEHAVE is what matters MOST, not so much what you SAY or DO.  This is what will initially attract women to you in the first place, and start to create sexual arousal in them.
Let’s take Colin Farrell, Channing Tatum or Johnny Depp for example. Why do women think these guys are so sexy? Because of the sexual persona they project!
These guys OOZE sexual attraction! With their confidence, high awareness of their own sexuality and their powerful sexual state of BEING, they attract and arouse sexual feelings in women by merely being present (whether on-screen or in person). They’re NOT afraid to be sexual towards women (although not sleazy), and this lets the ladies enjoy the delicious sexual feelings that they arouse in them.
So how do YOU go about projecting a sexual persona and state of being?
It all starts with CONSCIOUS CONTROL over the sexual state that you are projecting, and the NON-VERBAL sexual language that you use.  It’s all about projecting and OOZING sexuality –  relaxed, confident and at complete ease with yourself and your surroundings.  It’s about being completely comfortable and in total control of yourself in ANY social situation.
To illustrate, let’s take a quick look at the difference between an average guy and a Suave Man, in say, a bar or club situation.
When an average guy walks into a bar, what does he do?
He will usually stand in some out of the way place where he will not be noticed.  Typically, he will be slouching (displaying weakness and laziness), holding his drink to his chest (a classic defensive posture) and looking around the room all shifty and wide eyed.  He will usually be mesmerized by the dance floor and be content to just stand there and STARE at all the beautiful women dancing and moving around the bar.  He definitely will NOT approach any of them to initiate an encounter.
Women are NOT going to notice him.  He will be ignored by everyone of them, because he is NOT behaving in a sexually attractive way or making an EFFORT to be recognized.  He is behaving in a typically weak social manner.  His social status will be that of a reject and an outcast.  Women are NOT sexually attracted to social rejects and outcasts!
Now the typical Suave Man projects a powerful sexual persona and state of being.
He is relaxed, confident and dominant.  He stands with a powerful, masculine, upright posture and moves with deliberate, purposeful control.  He smiles at beautiful women (because he is NOT afraid of them), ALWAYS holds eye contact and isn’t the first to break it.  But, he treats ALL women the same regardless of their beauty.  He isn’t mesmerized by the dance floor, and he doesn’t hesitate to approach women or flinch when he does.  He is friendly and popular, and has a HIGH social status.  He IS cool, suave and SEXY.  He KNOWS IT, and women KNOW IT!
That’s the difference.  It’s all in the attitude and behavior.  That’s why the average guy struggles to get laid!  The average guy lacks the understanding of WHAT women are “instinctively” attracted to, and WHY.  And, he just doesn’t behave in a manner that projects high social status or sexual attractiveness.
Ok, so now that we can see the differences between the two types of man, and why women are either attracted or not, we are now going to go over a powerful method you can use to create incredible sexual arousal.
Now, what women find sexually arousing, is a man who can create an atmosphere of SOCIAL and SEXUAL TENSION.  Women like to FEEL their hearts racing.  They LOVE it when a man can make their adrenaline pump, and make them feel like their heads are spinning and their blood is boiling.
To do that, we have to create a situation where there is slight tension and discomfort.  But you have to ALWAYS remember to project an aura of complete sexual comfort and confidence.  You have to remain in complete control of your emotions and your body.  If you don’t, then women will just be freaked out by your behavior and you’ll blow your chances.  Remember, women can sense your sexual relaxation – or lack of it.  So it’s vitally important to always be in complete control of yourself at ALL times.
Here is the method I’ve used many times with great success.
When you see a woman you like – and you’ve been giving and getting good eye contact – approach her with a supremely confident swagger, projecting and oozing sexuality.  Continue to look her in the eyes the whole time.  Don’t worry about her friends, just focus on her.  Without apologizing, invade her personal space, look her directly in the eyes and give her a “I know you think I’m hot” smile.  Pause, lean back and playfully look her body up and down once.  Look back into her eyes with a mischievous grin, and say “Hey.”
Because you’re so close to her, and because of your supreme confidence and coolness, her heart and adrenaline will be RACING.  Guaranteed.  And she won’t be able to keep her eyes off you.  Her friends will most likely be giggling or dumb-struck because of the social tension you have just created.  This is extremely sexy to women!
Now because you have just created this social tension – something that may never have happened to her before, especially if she is hot, because 99% of men don’t have the balls to be like this to hot women – then she is going to associate her adrenaline dump and heart racing to you.
And guess what that association is?  That’s right:  Sexual arousal caused by YOU!
It’s your non-verbal communication for projecting a sexual persona and state of being that is appealing to her sub-consciousness, her natural sexual instincts, and making her FEEL sexual attraction for you, and as a result, sexual arousal.
The next step, after creating social tension, is to create sexual tension.  To do that, you need to implement the steps to escalating attraction.
Introduce yourself, have a chat to her and her group about what brings them out.  Tease them and make fun of them.  Engage them with interesting conversation e.g tell stories about experiences that display your attractive qualities – don’t brag about WHAT you have though, rather, subtly show off your behavioral and emotional traits  through your stories.  Captivate their attention by reading their palms or performing magic tricks.
After you have built up comfort, rapport and attraction, turn to your target woman and say to her “When a good song comes on, come and dance with me..”  Just state it too, don’t ask.  After the feelings you have just given her, there is NO WAY she is going to say “no.”
Now tell her you’ve gotta get back to your friends, turn around and walk away!
That’s right walk away.  Average guys will NOT walk away when things are going so well.  They continue to hang around, and hang around, until the woman finally gets bored and leaves instead.  Because of their insecurities, they think if they go away they will lose her, when in all reality, they have already lost her.
Guess what?  This is the REAL reason you NEED to walk away.  Walking away now is THE best thing you can do because doing so creates SEXUAL TENSION.
By leaving her, you have just left a huge hole in her mind and reality.  She will now be helpless to think about anything but YOU, and yearn for you to come back and give her those wonderful feelings again.  She will be thinking to herself “How can he just go away and leave me feeling like this?  Is he going to come back?  When will he come back?  If I feel like this towards him, does it mean I like him?  I think I’m sexually attracted to him.  Damn he’s HOT!”
After awhile (not too long though), but when you’re ready and when a good song comes on, go back, grab her by the hand and LEAD her to the dance floor.  DON’T ASK, just do it.  Leading her now displays your dominance and alpha maleness.  She will now be even MORE attracted to you, because as we know, women respond sexually to powerful, dominant, alpha males.
Dance close.  Let her feel your body up against hers.  Let her feel the warmth of your face against her cheek.  Lightly brush your lips past her ears and neck.  This will drive her crazy with lust.  The oxytocin in her body will be running wild.
Dance with her for a few songs, let the tension and lust build up and then break it off again.  Take her back to her friends.  Let things settle in her mind once again.  Make her miss you again.  Let those questions run through her mind again.
Next time you go back, it’ll be time to isolate her from her friends so she doesn’t feel like she is being judged.  Being judged by her peers and then being deemed as a slut, is socially damaging to a woman’s reputation, and they will avoid this at all costs.  So isolate her, then continue to turn the heat and tension up.  Keep escalating the encounter until it gets to the stage where she wants to go faster than what you are going.
This is the type of tension that is the secret to sexually arousing women.  Giving them great feelings, making them feel alive with powerful emotions, and then taking it away from them.  Make them think and wonder, then go back, give them more great feelings, escalate your encounter to a new, heightened level, then stop.  And on, and on, and on until she can’t take it anymore.
Try implementing this method next time you’re out on the town.  Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work for you at first either.  All it means is that your confidence levels are not yet high enough, and you need more practice.
I know it’s a daunting task, and the risk of rejection is a hard obstacle to overcome, but honestly, if you really want to be successful with women, you have to do the hard yards.
Good luck, and happy hunting.