Picking Up Women: How to Make Easy, Fun Conversation That Leads to Attraction & Sexual Chemistry

There are two main ways in which we communicate with others: non-verbal communication and vocal/verbal communication. You probably already know a little about the non-verbal side of things, such as the types of body language that silently signal someone’s nervous, excited or angry. But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals?

That’s the subject we’re going to look at today.  Except we’re going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

Let’s first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a  woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex? The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make – things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder – rather than help – his chances of hooking up with her.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there – suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence – is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it. The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be. Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP. This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH. It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up – after all, it might not happen again for ages! So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up. He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.

Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING. Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You don’t want to throw too many her way too quickly. If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning – ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to. Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses. “Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good.

Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl. Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy – the kind of man women love – isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.

Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl. But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the girl’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

Rachel Davis is the author of Conversation-King, a guide that teaches men how to attract and seduce women by mastering the art of verbal communication.


How To Be Unpredictable To Attract More Women

If there is ONE thing that stops MOST men dead in their tracks when trying to attract women, it’s being BORING!  This is the greatest sin of all.  Women absolutely HATE being bored.  And, once you have been labeled as boring, you will need to do a HUGE amount of work to recover from that.  You will be viewed as a predictable, uninteresting and BORING “nice guy”, and she WILL place you into the dreaded “let’s just be friends” category.

Now to be honest, it’s not that women dislike nice guys, it’s just that nice guys aren’t exciting and fun.  They’re pleasant, predictable and they do and say all the “right things”.  There is no spontaneity or unpredictability, which means, NO fun and excitement.  Deep in their hearts, women are all seeking adventure and excitement.  That’s why bad boys and jerks can always attract beautiful women, because they provide excitement, fun and an element of danger.  Women NEVER know what’s going to happen next.  It’s always one big adventure.

So it goes without saying then, if you are trying to attract women – especially beautiful women – then you need to be interesting, fun and exciting.  Most guys are too busy trying to IMPRESS women with what they think is attractive ie. money, fancy possessions, social standing, workplace positions, personal accomplishments or luxurious lifestyles.  What they don’t do is work on being INTERESTING to women.  Instead they falsely believe that being impressive IS being interesting.

You need to remember that women are more emotional than we are, and as a result, are not interested in or stimulated by the things that interest us.  They are more concerned with FEELING emotions, rather than talking about practical and logical issues.  For example, talking to a woman about the specs of your brand new car, or the stats of the latest football game will more than likely put her to sleep.  BORING!  Hell, I’m a man and know what all that means, AND I get bored listening to someone go on about these things.

It’s more important – actually, it’s essential if you want success with women – that you are FUN, INTERESTING and EXCITING.  And one of the best ways to do that is to be UNPREDICTABLE.

There are a couple of  important things you can implement in your personality right now, that will help you to be more unpredictable, fun and exciting.

Firstly, STOP being afraid to say what you think.  What I mean by this is, you need to have the balls and cheek to make truthful observations about what you see.  You don’t have to be mean and hurtful, just have the nerve to say what others want to, but don’t have the balls to.

Most men are too afraid of upsetting a woman with their words and actions, and as a result, they hold their tongues, and hold back on their actions, which makes them appear boring and predictable to her.  You know, there are only a handful of “right” things you can say and do in any situation, but there are infinite “wrong” things you can say and do.

So it’s far better to say what’s on your mind, than to be pleasant about everything.  Jerks and bad boys have the ability to say and do whatever they want, which makes them seem unpredictable, and in turn, appear exciting to be around.  This is why so many women fall for them.  They just never know what’s going to happen next.  It’s all an experience of excitement and adventure.

You also need to have relaxed playfulness.  Relaxed playfulness is behaving in a fun, playful way with a relaxed attitude about everything.  Playfully tease women.  Teasing most women has an incredible effect, because it shows them that you are not afraid of them and you have the balls to say and do what most of the other guys don’t have the balls to.  Women will automatically assume you are DIFFERENT to 99% of all the other men they meet, because you have just done what most men don’t have the courage to do.

Here’s something I’ve been doing for a long time, and its been the start of so many of the “relations” I’ve had with women.  When I’m out at bars, and I’ve met and started talking to a woman, I like to make a cheeky comment about her cleavage.  I make it obvious I’m staring at her boobs, then I look her in the eyes and say, “you know, I just can’t concentrate with your cleavage staring at me like that, I’m going to have to cover it up”!  Then I’ll pull her top up, or if they are wearing something over the top, I’ll pull that across or down or whatever.  Then after I’ve done that I’ll say, “actually, it was WAY better when they were out”, and I”ll expose her cleavage again.  For added effect, I like to finish that off with a cheeky little hip bump (bump your hip into her hip), followed by a sly smile and wink.

Always works that one, because I just showed her with my words and actions, that I am fun, exciting and unpredictable.  I have just done what NO other man has done to her.  I had the balls to treat her as a sexy woman who I am attracted to, BUT, I can still remain in control of myself.  Extremely powerful and attractive behavior.

If you are behaving the right way, it’ll work for you too.  Give it a try sometime.

This type of behavior shows women that you are relaxed being sexual with them, and comfortable enough to make it all appear to be lighthearted, relaxed and fun.  While most other guys have been using the tired old pick-up lines or canned get-to-know-you question routine, you have just shown her that you are DIFFERENT from ALL the other guys who have approached her.  She will think you are INTERESTING, and be open to more interactions with you.

Most of all though, this type of behavior makes you seem UNPREDICTABLE, EXCITING and FUN.

Try these things out for yourself.  Make sure you are confident in your words and actions, and most of all, make sure you are always having fun doing what you are doing.  Women will notice your relaxed attitude, and appreciate your realness, honesty and unpredictability.